I have to agree with your mother, but many people are afraid of introspection. We don't like to admit our faults and weaknesses and often resist making changes for the better that would give us a more fulfilling life. We often project our own faults onto others, which definitely can affect a relationship!

I think our general view of mankind is strongly affected by the way we view ourselves. Miserable people often want to make everyone around them feel miserable, too, and usually succeed. They can't develop healthy intimate relationships and tend to drive people away from them.

Unfortunately, many people refuse to see the light, and would rather wallow in their own self-pity and blame others for their situation, instead of doing anything to make their life better. Miserable, self-centered people often wonder why they don't get any respect, but how can we respect a person who is always casting blame and seeking pity?

I believe that to truly love others we must love ourselves first, a humble love that doesn't attract attention to itself. Not with a big ego, which isn't really love of self but a cover for insecurity.

People who truly love other people draw others to them, and I'm not referring only to eros, or erotic love, but to agape love, the love of all mankind, the kind of love that God has for his creation.

To be willing to accept faults in other people we have to be willing to admit our own faults and to accept them, learn to deal with them, and realize that even though we're not perfect that most of us have redeeming qualities that can make up for them.